If you’re anything like me as a student, it’s likely that you are counting down the days until Winter Break. It’s that time in the semester when everyone is trying to make it through the three weeks between Thanksgiving Break and Christmas break– there are a million assignments, it’s dark at 5pm, and you are tired. It’s possible you’re already daydreaming of sleeping in, forgetting about deadlines, and relaxing beside your Christmas tree already. Is it possible though that once that glorious break comes, you actually begin to feel anxious or restless because you Don’t know what to do with your free time anymore? You’re not alone.
The Current Situation
Now that we have a quarter and a half of “normal school” under our belts again, you may feel like you are (or at least should be) used to the pace we used to keep in pre-COVID times. You’re used to getting up when it’s still dark outside again, wearing some version of “real clothes” again, and interacting with your friends face-to-face on a daily basis. It’s also likely that the full force of academic demands have surfaced again after a year and a half of virtual learning and a more relaxed learning pace and environment. You may be overwhelmed by how to “catch up” enough to be prepared for college or applying to college, feeling like you lost 18 months of preparation. Many high schoolers have reengaged in daily
sports practices or club meetings again, meaning that you’re not starting your hours worth of homework until after dinner and find yourself staying up late and getting up early. To summarize, you’re tired not only from the sheer workload but also from flexing the muscles of constantly doing and being around other people again after a long time of school on a screen. So what could sound better to someone who is exhausted than a week-long break at the end of the year!
Anxiety
I’ve been hearing from a lot of teenage clients that they don’t know how to relax anymore. For some it looks like scrolling TikTok or streaming shows endlessly, hoping to feel rested at the end of the day but feeling like your time was wasted and unproductive because you feel just as tired as you did at the beginning of the day. For others it looks like engaging in usually enjoyable activities but not being able to enjoy them because of the feeling that something you *should* be doing is constantly hanging over your head. It’s possible that a subtle anxiety has become your status quo, but you can usually avoid feeling its effects because you’re able to keep yourself so busy it doesn’t have time to make itself known. But when your schedule is less structured and all your regular activities are canceled, there is more room for your brain to think and your body to react to the anxiety that’s been taking up residence there all along.
Winter Break Game Plan
So how do you actually go about relaxing and enjoying your winter break? Consider these tips.
☐ Consider things that would actually be enjoyable for you to engage in during your free time and write them down. Consider things that you may not always have time to do like reading a book for fun, going ice skating with friends, hosting a movie marathon, painting, playing an instrument, or going for a drive to see Christmas lights. Put a few things on your calendar tentatively to give yourself some semblance of structure and things to look forward to outside of your regular gatherings (that are often outside your control).
☐ When you feel the anxiety or restlessness start to surface, sit with it and listen for a minute for what it could be telling you. What’s causing you to feel anxious? Is something left unfinished, an unmet expectation, a challenging relationship dynamic, boredom, or a sense of dread? Just naming what could be causing that unsettling feeling can help to make it feel less overwhelming.
☐ Spend a little time at the beginning of break deciding what actually has to get done. Once you have a list of must-do-over-break items, decide once which pockets of time you think would be best to do them and write it down. Seeing it scheduled can help reduce the feeling that things are unfinished or hanging over your head.
☐ Discern what is actually restful and life-giving for you. If you are someone who is constantly on the go and productive about everything, consider giving yourself the freedom to actually lay around and watch tv/movies for a few hours guilt free. If you are someone who finds themselves glued to your screens, consider setting screen time limits or scheduling something outside of the house that is also fun. Decide what serves you best and then intentionally decide how you’ll engage in that without feelings of guilt or shame.
☐ Communicate with your parents. A common source of stress and strain can be constant reminders from parents on what you need to do and when you need to do it. They may be carrying their own anxiety on your behalf. If you respectfully communicate when you’re planning to do your must-do’s and what you think would actually help you to relax and enjoy yourself, they are much more likely to give you the space to do that if they’re confident you have a plan. Clarity is kindness.
As a teenager, you are in a stage where you have a good amount of responsibility but are not in full control of your life. This lack of control and the weight of your responsibilities can lead to anxiety and exhaustion. If you feel like you’re experiencing more than just day-to-day anxiety, it may be time to seek out support from a therapist to help give you skills and confidence in managing these feelings. You or your parents can make an appointment with us through our website contact page or by calling (443) 574-4295. Regardless of whether you’re experiencing seasonal anxiety and restlessness or something more long-term, let’s name what we actually enjoy and give ourselves the freedom to engage in it this winter break.
